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He owns 22 pairs of socks and she spends Just how normal are you? Are you a man who

spends 49 per cent of his leisure time watching TV every year?Are you a woman who washes her bras every eight weeks and spends two whole years of her life just looking in the mirror, cards against humanity white cards?? Because that’s what Mr and Mrs Average Briton do. DAVID THOMAS combed through a mountain of government statistics, academic research, media surveys and pollsters’ reports to uncover the truth about the way we are. MR AVERAGEIs 39 years old and will live, on average, to the age of 76. He earns 512 a week and, if he is employed, works on average 38.9 hours a week, before retiring at the age of 63. He is 5ft 9in, weighs 13st and therefore has a Body Mass Index of 26.9, making him a stone overweight. That’s why he has to buy trousers with an average 37in waist. He has size ten feet. He becomes a father at the age of 29, but does not become a husband until he is 30. He spends almost two days of the year on hold on the phone, and has more than 80 contacts on his mobile phone. Of these, he considers 11 to be close friends. He owns 22 pairs of socks and ten polo shirts. He also owns at least three TVs and spends 26 hours and 12 minutes, or 49 per cent of his leisure time, watching them (though

presumably only one at a time). He knows how to cook at least four meals, of which one, on average, is his own, cards agenst humanity, very special, spag bol. Certain that he always knows the way, playing cards against humanity, Mr Average will drive around in circles for 20 minutes before giving up and asking for directions. Mr Average spends 3,000 hours of his life shaving. MRS AVERAGEIs 41 years old and will live, on average, to the age of 81. She earns just 412 a week, but because she is much more likely to work part time, only spends 26.2 hours a week at her job, which she gives up for good when she is 61. She is 5ft 4in tall, weighs 11st 2lb and therefore has a Body Mass Index of 26.8, meaning that she is almost exactly as tubby as Mr A. An average size 16, Mrs A takes a 36D bra, measures 34in around the waist and has 41in hips. Her waist is 7in bigger than her mum or gran’s was, back in the Fifties. As an average 41 year old, she has already consumed 68 years’ worth of the recommended daily ration of fat, which is 70g, roughly the equivalent of two cappuccinos, a piece of cake, a bag of crisps and a pizza with chips. And by the age of 50, she will have a ‘fat age’ of 92. Her feet are size seven. She has her first child at the age of 27, but does not get married

until she is 28. IN GENERAL, THE AVERAGESAre caught on CCTV 330 times a day. Spend four years of their working life on the phone. Lose seven years’ worth of sleep because of work related worries. Spend more than six years of their life in front of the TV. Have less than a one in 1,000 chance of dying from Aids. Drink three cups of tea and 1.6 cups of coffee a day, and 37 litres of bottled water every year. Have a one in 200 chance of dying in an accident on the roads, game cards against humanity. Have a one in four chance of dying from cancer. cards against humanity retail 261

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